Once bitten, twice shy

So the story started like this.

Initially we don't know about each other, we are just acquaintance in Church. But we got closer (slightly) after joining Viper challenge 2016.

We even barely talked throughout the challenge. However, on and off, he would text me and ask hows life recently. Yes,i know. It's cliche. It's okay. But things got different on the day of my birthday.

He wished me and he called me. VIDEO CALL. He wanted to play birthday song for me with piano. I was so shocked! It's kind of romantic but more of heartwarming as someone willing to play song for me. Not like no one played before, but after being single for so many years and no suitor. Yea, I kind of touched. But I'm not that deep into it.

I don't know when we started to really become close. But I can only remember one incident is that he called me and we talked for about 2 hours. I don't know why but I just be Frank to him and had a deep conversation with him. I started to open up with him. Telling him my family, my ex, my views and my thoughts. Even my future plan. Which I only want to tell my future partner only. But I just open up to him and told him partially.

We texted almost everyday. He called me once or twice per week. But things get lesser and lesser in the past one week. I sensed something amiss. It's not like I like him or what. But it's just that good to have people concern about you isn't it? So I got used to his presence, his warm texts. Yes, occasionally he still text me but his reply after me was like one or two words. My heart turned cold.

What's more, he rarely text me for the past week. So I got that uneasiness.
Then this afternoon I heard from my roommate, she said that they went out tgt on her birthday night. The girl asked her whether free not at night cause the guy can fetch them and eat dinner yumcha. Then my roommate ask why would she know that he can fetch cause he seldom go out, then she said that they've been texting for few days then the guy asked her out as well. I literally freeze when I heard this. Okay, they agreed with the plan. He wanted to go fetch simyee first bc it's closer to his house. But then he said sorry he want to fetch that girl first cause she also hungry so scared she waited for too long. And they went to eat dinner first without my roommate cause she had her dinner with family already. Fine. But she waited for them like from 8 till 10.30pm. they had a dinner for that long. It was alright. None of my business, it's okay. So they went to watch movie and after that yumcha till 2.30am.

They talked about rumours in Church. One little boy in our church saying that there'll be another couple which will be the guy with either the girl or me. But cannot, he must choose in between the two. Cannot have both, if not the girls will fight. Ridiculous. I wouldn't want to fight with other girl, sorry. I don't want to fight. If he really loves me, why wouldn't he fight for me. Seriously. But what surprised me or hurt me is, his response regarding to this matter.

He said: it's okay, I'm already get used to this kind of rumours~ I am fine with spreading rumours with you or with Jennis. I'm okay come on! Last time during uni, I also don't understand why would I have so many rumours with girls!

Well. I'm truly shocked with his response. It was so irresponsible, so snobbish, so self-centered. I actually have some feelings towards him and i think it's because of his courage to talk to me. I'm moved by his courageous actions to call me. I'm moved by his initiation. But thank God that I prayed, so that I can see his true color and I know that he's not the one. But please don't mess with my heart.
I'd like to say I'm officially done with your shitty romance. Let's just be friend. God, lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil ones. Amen. Uoure the faithful God that always protect me from being harmed.