Emotion

Emotion is something that cannot be controlled and subconsciously.

6th June 2015
I feel sad today as if fall to bottom of the groove. Maybe I'm over exaggerating but something really happened and make me cry over it.

='(
Results for Cardiopulmonary and Exercise Physiology has been released this morning.
Omg C   for both subjects. I am sure I have studied these two subjects but maybe I never comprehend and understand and lack of revision and see what I get. 
Results may be low but this is not the thing that trigger my mood to fluctuate. 

😭😭😭😭
I permed my hair recently and I have phobia about this because it's my first time to try curl and it's not look good on me.

 I tend to be very sensitive about people's comments and how they view me as I have bad memory back then during my primary school. I was often being bullied by classmates and they like to mock at me and gave me those nasty comments and even change my name into ugly Jennis, buck teeth Jennis and lots more. This had ruined me and made me has low self esteem. 

And what makes me cry today is... 
One of my classmate said my hair is like never shower before and just come out. Everyone laughed at me after that. 
He's not referring to bad smell, but the frizzy dry hair I have. My hair very thin and it's clearly seen after bath but it become very thick and light and hair everywhere. It's look like after a boom or fire, and my hair is explosively stuck out. 
I cannot control my emotion even though I really try very hard not to burst out but I JUST CAN'T. I wish someone can protect me by speaking up but I think no one will care about me as I'm just a minor person. 

I wanted to say them but I cannot pull myself up since we're classmates and he's just kidding and I'm a foreigner. 
If I get angry or talk about this issue, they may think that I'm too petty or I'm just a foreigner, I have no right to be angry. 
I dunno... I just don't dare to say anything. I just sob over there and look at my book. 

I can only cry out loud when I reached hostel. I really wish someone can console me and help me is like no one cares about me... I want my bro to help me but he also won't care about me. 

"Mind your words, what comes out from your mouth not deliberately may hurt someone indirectly. "
 It doesn't mean that this person very petty or cannot afford kidding , but this person has feeling too.. 

God, 
Help me,
Guide me,
Lead me.  

See You Again

It's been a long way,
Without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.
We've come a long way
From where we begin
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN.


Yeah, though I never loss my friend,
I can still feel the spirit behind this song.
Friends are important to everyone of us.
Nobody is an isolated island.
We need social we need attention we need friends.

Especially when you're studying or working on a foreign land away from your home.
We need them to help each other and to look out for each other.
(So many redundancy in my article, huh)

Well, unfortunately, I realised that in university, we make friends with a purpose.
We make use of them and find who's the greatest advantage for us.
It's all based on your value but not your heart.
It's distinctly shown when there's group assignment.
It's like tearing apart from usual clique and hunting down the best talents around the class or even cohort.
So, this is the real world huh...? I guess so.

Anyway, don't care about how people think, we just need to be more open hearted and be sincerity in making friends. Away from those negative haters which encourage you to spend time on useless things.

Behold, they are somewhere around you.
OPEN YOUR EYES AND HEARTS.