Third year semester 1.
I finished my exam. It's time to go out to the real world and start internship.
I was attached to KTPH for MS placement. Before that, we've heard of one legacy:
"If you survived ktph, you can survive anywhere."
Isn't that scary? Yes. I was scared by this! But being a student with a fresh memory on spine module and just passed the practical test under Audrey, I'm full of confidence that I can do well in this placement. And thus I'm excited to answer questions and start to see patient. But, maybe I'm too robust. I didn't really do well. I always get the feedback of "bad subjective assessment" not systematic, questions all over the place, missing secondary information and my tone especially.
Twas a tough time. Every time I finished seeing patient I'll get almost the same feedback from sups. If your subjective assessment is a mess, then your objectives and treatment is a waste.
I cried in front of them (so embarassing) after I got my first week eval. It's all failed except for professionalism. I'm doomed. How'd I survive and pass this placement? This is just the first attachment, there's two more ahead. If I failed this then how about the rest?! I panicked and worried every day and night.
I kept on asking God. And I kind of frustrating about it. Why God? Why you put me here? Isn't that you know my ability? Why put me here when I can't even meet their expectation! I was downhearted and depressed. Even though I share this matter with a lot of people and asking for help. But I'm still depressed and everyday thinking of how to improve more and more. But it's all in vain.
Then I joined the navigator camp in September'16. I think I made a good decision in joining this. It taught me a lot about how to encounter God and equip yourself with God's words. (Skip the lessons I learnt in that camp okay? Maybe I'll write another post in details about it). After joining that camp, I want to experience God and let go of everything. Rest in him. He's the faithful God who we can trust.
Trust in lord with your heart and not your eyyez and eclverything will be prepared for you.
Rest in him. All those who are weary can come to me for my yolk is enough for you.
I want to claim the promise! I want to rest in you and let go of things! Even though I pray about my placement and all the stuffs, but I still clinging onto it. I still handle by myself with my own wisdom and strength. I do not rely on God completely 100%. I do not. So I want to change. I pray to God and say
You're the faithful God. You're the God that can make the blind to see, make the deaf can hear and make the water turns into wine. Since I'm in health care setting and need to help patient to find their source of problems, Lord I need you. I need your healing power to help me in seeing patient. I prayed everything before I see the patient, pray for the wisdom.
But it's just unexplainable.
I just do the same routine, conducting interview, reporting results, do objective assessment and come out with diagnosis followed by treatment plan. I did the stuffs like I normally do. But just somehow, I found favor in supervisors eyes. They gave me the feedback that you've improved tremendously since week 1. At the moment, I'm just grateful to God and really don't know what happen. I've really done my own parts, doing the same thing everyday.
Hallelujah, Glories belong to God, He shows me his faithfulness and his miracle on me. He helps me to go through the tough moment. I finally came to understand every challenge God gave you is according to your limit, he won't abandon you. ()
Turn to God, not lean on your own understanding. A note for myself.
Tuesday 20 December 2016
Sunday 6 November 2016
Is there but not there yet
Not over yet.
Even if my week 4 Eval done and receive positive commens. But don't be too happy okay? Cause final eval is not done yet! Still got 2 days! Which a lot of things can happen as well!
But really, a sigh of relief that I've done with my in-service. So I received the light compliment. As in not too bad for an entry level. But don't be too happy okay? Cause I couldn't have done it with my own strength. Lord really show me his power. It's really I can't explain! Really, He grant me the wisdom and spirit to do it. Thank God I really thank you. Cause I'm your daughter! I Love you!
So the story went on like this...
We've been told that we got in service on the last Tuesday of our placement. We have been given 5 weeks to think about what topic should we choose and discuss on. But as a regular procrastinator, I dint even touch it until the second last day of my in-service. But it's not because I don't want to do, just that inadequate knowledge regarding the condition and laziness and lack of interest then I try to avoid it. But the time is still tickling and is around the corner! I couldnt wait any longer! Must produce something! Even though is just 5% of the score, but yet it concerns about my credibility as a PT in future!
Then left the last day before Tuesday. I have only done 6 slides and is talk about those not important stuff. So I can only pray and believe in God to entrust him. With my own strength I would not be able to pull through the midnight slumber temptation and the struggle of organizing my thoughts. I reached home around 6pm and start my slides for about 2 hours then enjoy my dinner+bathe so spend about 2 hrs in total? Then I continue at around 10pm then the sleepiness starts to kick in. I cannot hold myself up and decided to give it a recharge and fall into slumberland. Oh before that I set my alarm at 2.15am! Cause I'm not even halfway of my slides. And I'm heavy sleeper, but I manage to get up at about 2.45am. Of course I pray to God for help. Really. I manage to wake up! And continue my slides all the way until 6am. Normally I woke up at 6.30 so means that I still got half an hour to go. So I just took a short power nap before I left. Then I left house around 6.50. Unexpectedly, it rained downpour and causing me to be late for KTPH. I reach there around 7.45 which means I got only 15mins of practice! MY presentation was at 8.30 but it started at 8! I don't even have a script which my partners they all have. 😰😵😰😵
No choice left with me. I can only cross my fingers and pray hard. So I prayed in tongue saying: God, please grant me the peace within me so I wouldn't be panic when I'm out there presenting. God, please use me and speak your words so that everyone can benefit from this presentation. And then it went on smoothly until all questions have been answered. I muttered of myself, thank God, I made it! thanks for your peace and calm and wisdom. then the teacher also went in the room and gave me a very sweet compliment. not only hat, he gave me a fair bit of results.
But what's most important is, I got it not by myself. Is from him. He's the God! The living God who trengthen me and uphold me through the thicks and thins.
Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
My God is a living God! rejoice! all he glories belong to him!!!!
Yes, I did share this story to my fellow clinical buddies. but their response were like: WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU'RE BEING POSSESSED BY GOD?! WHAT! SO YOU'RE NOT THE PHYSIO THEN HE'S THE TRUE PHYSIO LA!?
*fainted*
The story about presentation in CE3A finished 🎉🎊🎋🎉🎉🎊😊😊
More to up guys 😙 if I got the perseverance to write 😓
Even if my week 4 Eval done and receive positive commens. But don't be too happy okay? Cause final eval is not done yet! Still got 2 days! Which a lot of things can happen as well!
But really, a sigh of relief that I've done with my in-service. So I received the light compliment. As in not too bad for an entry level. But don't be too happy okay? Cause I couldn't have done it with my own strength. Lord really show me his power. It's really I can't explain! Really, He grant me the wisdom and spirit to do it. Thank God I really thank you. Cause I'm your daughter! I Love you!
So the story went on like this...
We've been told that we got in service on the last Tuesday of our placement. We have been given 5 weeks to think about what topic should we choose and discuss on. But as a regular procrastinator, I dint even touch it until the second last day of my in-service. But it's not because I don't want to do, just that inadequate knowledge regarding the condition and laziness and lack of interest then I try to avoid it. But the time is still tickling and is around the corner! I couldnt wait any longer! Must produce something! Even though is just 5% of the score, but yet it concerns about my credibility as a PT in future!
Then left the last day before Tuesday. I have only done 6 slides and is talk about those not important stuff. So I can only pray and believe in God to entrust him. With my own strength I would not be able to pull through the midnight slumber temptation and the struggle of organizing my thoughts. I reached home around 6pm and start my slides for about 2 hours then enjoy my dinner+bathe so spend about 2 hrs in total? Then I continue at around 10pm then the sleepiness starts to kick in. I cannot hold myself up and decided to give it a recharge and fall into slumberland. Oh before that I set my alarm at 2.15am! Cause I'm not even halfway of my slides. And I'm heavy sleeper, but I manage to get up at about 2.45am. Of course I pray to God for help. Really. I manage to wake up! And continue my slides all the way until 6am. Normally I woke up at 6.30 so means that I still got half an hour to go. So I just took a short power nap before I left. Then I left house around 6.50. Unexpectedly, it rained downpour and causing me to be late for KTPH. I reach there around 7.45 which means I got only 15mins of practice! MY presentation was at 8.30 but it started at 8! I don't even have a script which my partners they all have. 😰😵😰😵
No choice left with me. I can only cross my fingers and pray hard. So I prayed in tongue saying: God, please grant me the peace within me so I wouldn't be panic when I'm out there presenting. God, please use me and speak your words so that everyone can benefit from this presentation. And then it went on smoothly until all questions have been answered. I muttered of myself, thank God, I made it! thanks for your peace and calm and wisdom. then the teacher also went in the room and gave me a very sweet compliment. not only hat, he gave me a fair bit of results.
But what's most important is, I got it not by myself. Is from him. He's the God! The living God who trengthen me and uphold me through the thicks and thins.
Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
My God is a living God! rejoice! all he glories belong to him!!!!
Yes, I did share this story to my fellow clinical buddies. but their response were like: WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU'RE BEING POSSESSED BY GOD?! WHAT! SO YOU'RE NOT THE PHYSIO THEN HE'S THE TRUE PHYSIO LA!?
*fainted*
The story about presentation in CE3A finished 🎉🎊🎋🎉🎉🎊😊😊
More to up guys 😙 if I got the perseverance to write 😓
Tuesday 24 May 2016
Mid 2016
Time flies...!
I have already gone through both clinicals in-patient and out-patient for 1 month each!
March: Outpatient Setting
SGH-Camden
Fun and exciting one month at camden. Really enjoyed over there and learnt a lot. Outpatient really has a hectic life and challenging problems like need to think very fast and interpret while patient talking about his condition then come out with your diagnosis!
OMG dunno i can do that anot in future.
But thank God i passed my clinical there even though majority C1 but at least no NC! (GRATEFUL)
Partner also quite fun yet annoying (too much) but he actually brought a lot of laughs and happy during this placement. But seriously his attitude...............................GRRR...
Then ended up i join his FYP group which means we still stuck for another one year. No choice, God grant him as leader (DL). Let;s JIAYOU for our FYP! i know its tough...
April: Inpatient Setting
RenCi Community Hospital
The pace is so different at com hosp., so chill and relax. Patients are majority above 60y/o and i am very comfortable mixing with them! I like Geriatrics~~ haha
I missed my patients! Guess they should be discharged by now!
This time round is a girl partner and she's the type of intelligent student. Erm... not much interaction haha but ya thanks so much we survived that 1 month successfully.
Forgot to mention, i think...this in-service is the most lousy and unprepared presentation that i ever had so far. HAIZ.. cause of my procrastination and family matter which cause me unable to settle down and do it properly. Anyway, thank God i still managed to score 5. sth (Borderline of failure).
Okay, done with the writing. I supposedly writing my literature review right now but why am I writing for blog instead? Guess I wanna slack a while.... Later still need to go SGH to visit my mum cause she was admitted last night because of suspected appendicitis. Dad sent her from JB all the way to SGH. MUM please recover faster and omg medical expenses in sg is super exp!!
OMG i watched song joongki part of helping girl tie hair and shoelace and i was like AWWWWW...... <3 <3 <3 xoxo
HOPING a guy can relay that scene on me!!!! hahahahahhahahahah
such a warm guy~~
Okay.. time to hit the articles! Wish me luck!
I have already gone through both clinicals in-patient and out-patient for 1 month each!
March: Outpatient Setting
SGH-Camden
Fun and exciting one month at camden. Really enjoyed over there and learnt a lot. Outpatient really has a hectic life and challenging problems like need to think very fast and interpret while patient talking about his condition then come out with your diagnosis!
OMG dunno i can do that anot in future.
But thank God i passed my clinical there even though majority C1 but at least no NC! (GRATEFUL)
Partner also quite fun yet annoying (too much) but he actually brought a lot of laughs and happy during this placement. But seriously his attitude...............................GRRR...
Then ended up i join his FYP group which means we still stuck for another one year. No choice, God grant him as leader (DL). Let;s JIAYOU for our FYP! i know its tough...
April: Inpatient Setting
RenCi Community Hospital
The pace is so different at com hosp., so chill and relax. Patients are majority above 60y/o and i am very comfortable mixing with them! I like Geriatrics~~ haha
I missed my patients! Guess they should be discharged by now!
This time round is a girl partner and she's the type of intelligent student. Erm... not much interaction haha but ya thanks so much we survived that 1 month successfully.
Forgot to mention, i think...this in-service is the most lousy and unprepared presentation that i ever had so far. HAIZ.. cause of my procrastination and family matter which cause me unable to settle down and do it properly. Anyway, thank God i still managed to score 5. sth (Borderline of failure).
Okay, done with the writing. I supposedly writing my literature review right now but why am I writing for blog instead? Guess I wanna slack a while.... Later still need to go SGH to visit my mum cause she was admitted last night because of suspected appendicitis. Dad sent her from JB all the way to SGH. MUM please recover faster and omg medical expenses in sg is super exp!!
OMG i watched song joongki part of helping girl tie hair and shoelace and i was like AWWWWW...... <3 <3 <3 xoxo
HOPING a guy can relay that scene on me!!!! hahahahahhahahahah
such a warm guy~~
Okay.. time to hit the articles! Wish me luck!
Saturday 16 January 2016
2016
Oh first post in 2016!
I just realised it and I didn't manage this account quite a long time huh..!
(For those annoying stalker please don't view my posts!!!! Do research on something else!!!) No offence here hehe cause recently some of my friends found out my Google circle account and omg I have never really revealed or told anyone about my blog stuff. It's meant to be my secret place to being anonymously even though I have linked to my fb but who will go and actually look into my profile?! Haha..forget it.
2016 right? So new year resolution will do the kickstart for my post!
-get slimmer
-get sponsorship
-get attached 😳
-more faithful and follow his path
-more radiant and graceful
-be analytical and brainstorm more
That somehow sums up my wish hehe.
Sigh, late night thoughts like seriously duh.
It's been 3 years since the last breakup. Ever since then I have never really fall in love with someone. Not to mention a bit of interest in guys. Indeed, I don't easily moved or touched by guys. I just don't have the feelings in them and I always distant myself from them. Perhaps I'm more mature now and don't want to have puppy love. Perhaps because of post-traumatic breakup with him.
He moved on.
Me? Still stand in the same square and did not move on yet. I've tried. Tried to chat with guys who kind of interested in me but no way I'm gonna waste my time and please him. I have a principle which is IF I DON'T HAVE THE FEELING IN YOU AT THE FIRST PLACE, I WON'T ENTERTAIN YOU IN THE END. Maybe we can be friend but yeah..just friend. Nothing much.
Is it my requirement too high?
I am praying. And still praying. I just pray that my real soul mate which selected by God can approach me asap. The baseline: Christian. And it's genuinely faithful christian. Some of my friends say I'm worried too much. It's only 22 you still have long road to go. Yes I know. But I am also human. When someone on fb or insta doing #pdf, the feeling...yeshh..and when I need a companion instead of my girlfriends... Oh here's the point, I dont even have a male friend to be my intimate friend at least someone to confide in. Research does shows that is better to confide in opposite sex friends. But I don't even have one. Maybe I need someone who think more mature than me. I need someone to protect me and dote on me...
Stop it.. Doing good work for your academic and clinicals first. Don't bother about #bgr!! God's has his best timing for us. You shall wait.
Anyway, happy monkey year!
Goodnight! 😊
I just realised it and I didn't manage this account quite a long time huh..!
(For those annoying stalker please don't view my posts!!!! Do research on something else!!!) No offence here hehe cause recently some of my friends found out my Google circle account and omg I have never really revealed or told anyone about my blog stuff. It's meant to be my secret place to being anonymously even though I have linked to my fb but who will go and actually look into my profile?! Haha..forget it.
2016 right? So new year resolution will do the kickstart for my post!
-get slimmer
-get sponsorship
-get attached 😳
-more faithful and follow his path
-more radiant and graceful
-be analytical and brainstorm more
That somehow sums up my wish hehe.
Sigh, late night thoughts like seriously duh.
It's been 3 years since the last breakup. Ever since then I have never really fall in love with someone. Not to mention a bit of interest in guys. Indeed, I don't easily moved or touched by guys. I just don't have the feelings in them and I always distant myself from them. Perhaps I'm more mature now and don't want to have puppy love. Perhaps because of post-traumatic breakup with him.
He moved on.
Me? Still stand in the same square and did not move on yet. I've tried. Tried to chat with guys who kind of interested in me but no way I'm gonna waste my time and please him. I have a principle which is IF I DON'T HAVE THE FEELING IN YOU AT THE FIRST PLACE, I WON'T ENTERTAIN YOU IN THE END. Maybe we can be friend but yeah..just friend. Nothing much.
Is it my requirement too high?
I am praying. And still praying. I just pray that my real soul mate which selected by God can approach me asap. The baseline: Christian. And it's genuinely faithful christian. Some of my friends say I'm worried too much. It's only 22 you still have long road to go. Yes I know. But I am also human. When someone on fb or insta doing #pdf, the feeling...yeshh..and when I need a companion instead of my girlfriends... Oh here's the point, I dont even have a male friend to be my intimate friend at least someone to confide in. Research does shows that is better to confide in opposite sex friends. But I don't even have one. Maybe I need someone who think more mature than me. I need someone to protect me and dote on me...
Stop it.. Doing good work for your academic and clinicals first. Don't bother about #bgr!! God's has his best timing for us. You shall wait.
Anyway, happy monkey year!
Goodnight! 😊
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)